a big change

A few months ago, after months of stress and struggling inside, followed by a break down and a week off thanks to my generous ex-boss, I made the difficult decision to quit my job. I’ve been working for a oilfield services company for 7 years, and while it’s been filled with plenty of ups and downs, I’ve learned so much, met some extraordinary people and overall have truly enjoyed my experience there. I wasn’t sure exactly what I would do next, but I was confident that God was calling me to move on. I gave a 3 month notice, so it was a somewhat slow transition….thinking I’d be able to look for new opportunities while I finished out my time there, but in the end, I focused more on closing out my job as well as possible and wasn’t able to concentrate on next steps.

My last day was harder than I expected – probably because I didn’t let myself really digest leaving until the last possible second. I didn’t even pack up my desk until that afternoon (procrastinate much?). In any event it was a pretty tearful goodbye. Saying goodbye to the incredible women I worked with, and realizing I wouldn’t get to see them every day anymore, was the saddest part of moving on, but one of my best friends said something that really rang true with me that night “But there is something exciting ahead, and you had to say goodbye to get to it.” Though I don’t know what that is, I do know that it’s true

I’ve spent the past 2 months trying to soak up as much sun, truth, encouragement and relaxation as I can. Summers off….teachers really have the best schedules. I’ve been able to do various organizing and house projects, both at my house and some friends and family; take some spontaneous trips, and of course have done some serious catching up on tv (thank you Netflix {except not really} for encouraging my binge watching habits). I’ve seen great value in being available for helping other people (move, decorate, help with kids, plan, talk, etc.) – which is something that is bringing me a lot of joy. But now that all of my teacher and school working friends are going back to work, I’m beginning to feel a little lost. Though I have felt extremely at peace with this decision from the get go, and I know it was the right thing – both for me and for my old team, which He has made clear to me even since I left,  I’d be lying if I said I haven’t had moments (hours? days?) of complete panic – WHAT am I doing? Did I seriously quit my job without knowing where I would work next? Am I really going to sell my house and move? Can I really change careers? Will I like another city? Will I lose the few good relationships I have?  I know I have to cling to the peace {that can only be from God} because none of that other stuff is good or from Him….but that doesn’t make it easy.

I’m still not sure what’s next for me, but I am excited {and terrified} for what’s to come.

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